The Four Stages of Spiritual Growth

I have been fascinated with the subjects of God, religion and spirituality since early childhood, but, like many people, my religious beliefs have changed significantly over the years. As a young child and adolescent I thought I understood God pretty well. But over time I noticed that every time I thought I had God figured out or thought I knew what God would do next, He/She/It would do something totally different than my expectations. As a mature adult I can honestly say that I don't understand God at all now but I am delightfully overwhelmed by the mystery of a God that I no longer feel a need to understand. Why did my spiritual journey take me from my traditional understanding of God to my present state of being a mystic? Perhaps you have or will, at some point, have that same question. In this blog I will be sharing some observations and information that helped me get more clarity about my own spiritual journey. I would encourage you to incorporate anything in what follows that is useful to you and ignore the rest.

I believe that the primary task of each of us in this lifetime is to learn and to grow. Along the way I learned that each person is in one of four basic stages of spirituality, with each stage having its own characteristics and providing its own opportunities for our spiritual growth. There is a passage in one of the Screaming Hawk books I wrote that makes reference to the four paths. It occurs in the midst of one of the teaching sessions the main character has from Flying Eagle, his spiritual advisor and teacher.

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"There is something that I have wondered about for years, Flying Eagle. Some of my friends are agnostics and one or two are atheists. I feel far more harmony with them when we are talking about our obvious differences of religious beliefs than I do when I am talking to people who approach religion the way my colleague in the religion department does. Why is that? Logically I would expect to have less in common with an atheist.

"I am pleased you can sense that harmony even though your mind is confused by it. You are sensitive to your heart.

"The reason you feel the harmony is because many agnostics and atheists are at a higher stage of spiritual development than those who follow a traditional religion of clear-cut rules and beliefs, like your colleague.

"Although there are many ways to talk about this, I think it is helpful to identify four basic stages of spiritual growth. In the First Stage, people are almost totally self-serving and have little or no interest in the ways of the Spirit. They have little love for others and they recognize no value that is higher than meeting their own needs. I call that stage Self-Centered Spirituality. As they progress they may become "converted" and move into the Second Stage which I call Traditional Spirituality. That stage is characterized by clear cut rules and beliefs, like those of your colleague at the college. Most people who are active in churches are in that second stage. The Third Stage, Skeptical Spirituality, is one of questioning traditional religious views and values. Your agnostic and atheistic friends are probably in that category. Beyond that is the Fourth Stage, Mystical Spirituality. In that stage the Spirit is experienced in the mystery of that which can be encountered, but cannot be explained. You and all other mystics are in that Fourth Stage.

"The progression through the stages is not always clear-cut. Some people may experience two of the stages at the same time for a while, such as the person who has serious doubts about some things, but does not totally reject all traditional religious teachings. Others may bounce back and forth between two stages for a time.

"It is important to understand that there can also be significant differences between people within the same stage. A highly advanced Stage Two person will see and understand things quite differently from a beginning Stage Two person.

"Most Traditional, Stage Two, religious people do not understand that as people progress on their spiritual journeys they usually pass through a stage of skepticism before they can experience the Spirit the way mystics do. They may fear that they are losing their faith if they develop doubts or start questioning the true nature of the Spirit. People in Stage Two tend to look down on those who have those doubts, calling them terms such as 'back sliders' or 'non-believers.' They do not understand that the period of skepticism is, in fact, a time of reorganizing one's religious understanding and leaving behind views that stand in the way of experiencing the mystery of the Spirit.

"The reason you feel some harmony with your skeptical friends is because they are only one stage removed from where you are. Although you do not agree about many things, you can still understand each other. It is very difficult to communicate effectively with someone who is two stages away, such as your colleague. The views of a Stage Four Mystic are often threatening to a Stage Two person with a traditional approach to religion. And many of the less developed mystics, those who are not yet securely rooted in Stage Four, feel threatened by the Stage Two approach because for them to return to Stage Two thinking would be a regression. Violent conflict has emerged at times between those in different stages, the most notable of which was the practice of Stage Two Christians burning mystics at the stake in the name of religion.

Screaming Hawk: The Mystic Paths Book 2 (Pages 13-15)

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I spent a dozen years working as a pastoral counselor/psychotherapist and over 25 years serving a variety of churches as an Episcopal Priest. During those years, I had the opportunity to observe many individuals and a number of different churches with regard to how they related to spirituality. Although there are some exceptions, my experience is that most churches are more geared to the needs and interests of people with Traditional Spirituality than people with Mystical Spirituality, which might explain why many mystics are not actively involved in churches. What follows is a more detailed description of each of the stages of spirituality based on my experience and observations.

Self-Focused Spirituality (Stage 1) is generally characterized by the following:

1. A focus on oneself and meeting one’s own needs.

2. Good is defined as what is good for oneself.

3. The individual sees him/herself as being God in their own universe.

4. Love is largely self-directed rather than to others or God.

5. Encountering God or a Higher Power is less important to them than meeting their own needs.

6. The basic question for people in this stage is: “Is anything more important than me?” and their answer is usually “No.”

Infants and young children are usually in Stage 1 but there are some adults who remain in this stage throughout their life. When a person moves from Stage 1 to Stage 2 it is usually a gradual transition over time, but it can be a sudden shift that is quite dramatic. When the transition is sudden some people may refer to it by terms such as “being saved” or “born again” or “converted” to describe the sudden change in one’s thinking, values and perspective.

Traditional Spirituality (Stage 2) is generally characterized by the following:

1. A focus on both one’s own needs and the needs of others.

2. Good is defined as what is good for both oneself and others.

3. God is generally felt to be outside oneself but available, much like a friend.

4. Love is directed to oneself, to others and to God.

5. Encountering God or a Higher Power is considered very important.

6. The basic question in this stage is “Where is God and how do I encounter Him, Her or It.”

7. The other basic questions are: “What should I believe and what should I not believe?”

8. Many people in this stage tend to evaluate religious beliefs and/or information as being true or false, black or white, but not “shades of gray” and not capable of being both true and false at the same time.

9. Finding the answer to one’s questions about God is deemed to be quite important.

When a person moves from Traditional Spirituality to Skeptical Spirituality (Stage 3) the transition may be gradual or sudden. When a person moves out of Stage 2 they may be deemed, in some circles, to have become an “unbeliever” or “backslider” or a person who has “lost their faith” rather than, more correctly, a person who has simply moved forward into another acceptable stage of spirituality.

Skeptical Spirituality (Stage 3) is generally characterized by the following:

1. A focus on one’s own needs, the needs of others, and often includes a focus on the needs of society in general.

2. As is the case in Traditional Spirituality, good is seen as what is good for both oneself and others.

3. God is seen as unavailable because he/she/it is either unknowable or does not exist.

4. Love is directed to self and to others, but not to God or a Higher Power.

5. The basic question in this stage is: “Does God or a Higher Power exist?” and the answer is either “I don’t know”(agnostic) or “No” (atheist).

6. The person tends to see truths as shades of gray or both true and false.

The Skeptical Spirituality stage is often a period of reorganizing or rejecting the earlier beliefs they held in the Traditional Spirituality stage and may eventually lead to an openness to a new system of beliefs characteristic of Mystical Spirituality.

Mystical Spirituality (Stage 4) is generally characterized by the following:

1. A focus on one’s own needs, the needs of others, and often includes a focus on the needs of society in general.

2. Good is defined as what is good for oneself and what is good for others, but may also include seeing all things or events as good when viewed in their largest context.

3. God is seen as being everywhere, in all things, active in all events and within every person.

4. Love is directed to self, others and God.

5. God is encountered in everything but is also a great mystery that cannot be fully comprehended or explained.

6. The basic question is: “Is there anywhere or any situation where God is not encountered?” and their answer is “No.”

7. Creeds and dogma are seen as pointers toward the truth but do not adequately express the truth. Truth is experienced rather than learned or understood.

8. Truths are often experienced as shades of gray, rather than black and white, and at times can be both true and false at the same time.

9. God is encountered as a glorious mystery. Finding the answers to one’s questions about God is not important; encountering the mystery is extremely important.

People with Traditional Spirituality often have difficulty understanding people who are in the Mystical Spirituality stage and vice versa, in part, because the two groups frequently use the same religious language to express quite different understandings of spiritually. Someone saying, “I am God,” may sound like blasphemy to a person with Traditional Spirituality, but mystics might respond that that statement can be both true and false at the same time. A mystic might even respond that “In the realm of the Spirit opposites can be true at the same time and usually are.” (Screaming Hawk: The Mystic Warrior Book 1, Page 32)

I have shared this information about the four stages of spiritual growth because it has helped me to understand some aspects of my own and other’s spiritual journey.

I hope that you have found this and some of the other information on our website helpful for your own journey. If so, we would love to hear from you! Contact us on the homepage.

May you continue to hear the voice of the Spirit “in the silence between the words.”